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  • Writer's pictureA'Leeyah Ponder

Tend to YOUR OWN garden

Hello Family,

Many of us have multiple social media accounts and spend HOURS scrolling. We hop from platform to platform all throughout the day going from TikTok to Instagram to Facebook to Twitter and MORE.

We see people living their dreams, manifesting their aspirations and accomplishing goal after Goal after GOAL. If you’re in a good place in your life, content with your situation and happy with where you are, seeing others excel in life probably won’t make you “feel some type of way”. If you are unhappy with your situation and desire a different job, certain opportunities or simply the courage to go after your dreams, seeing others excel may bother you.


I have had to check myself multiple times throughout the past few weeks about jealousy. Let’s be real. Seeing others take leaps of faith and not crash and burn can come as encouragement, but with the wrong mindset it could come as competition.

I’ve always wondered how jealousy and envy could manifest itself, especially when we’re jealous and envious of people that are in our lives on and off social media.

Likeeee… Why are they getting everything they pray for? Why are they able to bounce back after hardships? Why is that person able to work my dream job, or internship, and I can’t?

The truth is.. we are our own competition. We aren’t actually competing with anyone in or outside of our realm of influence. Social media platforms allow us to interact and see hundreds, if not thousands, of people “living the dream”. Don’t allow what you see on social media to make you feel bad about your situation. If anything, seeing others excel in careers you hope to work in and rooms you hope to walk in should MOTIVATE YOU to JUMP!

How does jealousy and envy manifest in your life?

In Genesis, after Adam and Eve were kicked out of the garden, they had two sons by the names of Cain and Abel. Jealousy led one son to make a life altering decision…

Genesis 4:2-8 (NLT) reads, 2 Later she (Eve) gave birth to his brother and named him Abel. When they grew up, Abel became a shepherd, while Cain cultivated the ground. 3 When it was time for the harvest, Cain presented some of his crops as a gift to the Lord. 4 Abel also brought a gift—the best portions of the firstborn lambs from his flock. The Lord accepted Abel and his gift, 5 but he did not accept Cain and his gift. This made Cain very angry, and he looked dejected. 6 “Why are you so angry?” the Lord asked Cain. “Why do you look so dejected? 7 You will be accepted if you do what is right. But if you refuse to do what is right, then watch out! Sin is crouching at the door, eager to control you. But you must subdue it and be its master.”8 One day Cain suggested to his brother, “Let’s go out into the fields.” And while they were in the field, Cain attacked his brother, Abel, and killed him.

Cain was angry that his brother’s offering got accepted while his got rejected. Cain was so angry he killed his brother. I believe Cain was jealous and out of envy he worked to eradicate anything that could “prevent him from moving forward”. Cain completely missed the fact that he and his brother were on two different paths and were NOT in competition. Each brother’s offering was a reflection of what they wanted to give God from the work THEY DID.

See it like this… Your outcome in pursuing your goals and making your dreams come true is a product of the work you put in, time you commit and your willingness to make the necessary sacrifices to become the version of yourself that is able to maintain the blessing, dream, goal, etc.

What’s holding you back from living the life you’ve always wanted to live? Have the relationship you’ve always wanted to have? Work the job you’re talking about wanting? Being the person, you’ve always wanted to be? Create the motivational, political, self-care, faith-based, career-based or day-in-a-life content you’ve always wanted to make?

The answer is and will always BE YOU.

Now tell me, why are you standing in your own way? And how long have you stood in your own way? Is it the funds? If you feel like you don’t have enough money to take the leap, save up, get a legal “side hustle” (i.e. another stream of income) or get a credit card. Do you feel like you need to heal more before you start following your dreams? Start your healing journey: go to therapy, get a counselor, find a support group in your community or look into other practices like therapeutic yoga.

I hope you, we, both develop the courage to STAY IN OUR OWN LANE. I hope we are courageous enough to develop a realistic course of action to accomplish everything we want in life, this year and this month. I hope we grow to understand that other people’s journeys are not necessarily a reflection of our own, because each person is complex, nuanced and carrying their own experiences and history with them on their journey just as we are.

TEND TO YOUR OWN GARDEN and stop worrying about what’s going on in your neighbor's garden.

I love you. Jesus loves you MOST.

Hang in there. Keep your head up, and if you can’t that’s okay too.

Xoxo Miss Ponder



Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

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1 Comment

Jan 21, 2023

That’s another good word Nu! Thanks for sharing!♥️

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