Hello Family,
Every time I find myself behind a keyboard to make a blog post I get nervous. I realize that writing is both therapeutic and a bit stressful for me. Using my gift comes with a world of challenges. I’m always confronting thoughts of inadequacy, insecurity, and indecisiveness.
Should I make a post? Does what I have to say matter?
Is any of this worth it?I just got back from Buenos Aires, Argentina where I studied abroad for 6-weeks. Being in Argentina made me realize that I have to keep going, even if I don’t have a particular “end goal” for the content I’m creating. I traveled around Buenos Aires with a journal in my fanny pack. I assumed this would be safer than carrying around a laptop or iPad. I would get inspired, or simply need to reflect, and in turn journal. Have you ever heard a writer say, “I didn’t know how I felt until I started writing”? Well, that was me… not having a clue in the world what emotions were coming up for me as I experienced life in Latin America until I wrote about it.
Can you relate?😭
Yea I can
Lowkeyyyyy
Nope
Girl I don't know what you're talking about🤔
Half of my trip was dedicated to being in a constructive learning environment and being taught my international professors. I got the chance to take a few incredible classes (i.e. the 'Politics of Religion', 'Survival Spanish', and 'Transformational Leadership Across Cultures'). The other 50% of my trip was dedicated to the world being my classroom. I wanted to know what inter-religious experiences looked like contextually. I’ve read about these things in Divinity school. I’ve even taken classes about “Global Christianities” where we've honed in on historical inter-religious interactions, but this felt different.
I journaled, made TikTok’s, wrote letters, and took a ton of pictures to encapsulate the religious encounters I had. I think the scariest part about sharing these experiences on the blog in the coming weeks and with the faculty at my Divinity school is that I can’t control how my work will be received. Often times, the perception of others can be our biggest stumbling block (I know it's mine🙋🏽♀️).
What will they think? Will they support me?
Will they like what I created?I haven't been in the United States a full week yet, and adjusting to my regular environment has been TOUGH. However, in this time I’ve realized that life is too short to be fixated on other people’s opinions. We wouldn’t accomplish anything if we waited, or even solely relied on the applause and affirmations of others.
Affirmations didn’t get me to Argentina, my faith did. Praise didn’t give me the extra push I needed to keep searching for study abroad programs that would accept graduate students, my determination did.
When we look back over our lives it’s easier to see things in 20:20 (CLEAR); but when we’re in the moment of a tough decision or taking a leap of faith things aren’t as clear. I’ve found it easier to entertain the mundane and discouraging thoughts more than the encouraging ones. I don’t know what’s next outside of my next two years of Divinity school, the Public Theology Project’24 release on the blog, and other projects I’ve managed to dream up… I guess I do know what’s immediately next 😂.
Regardless, I’d say the best way to tend to the things you know you want to do is to take a step forward. You can only control things that are in your control (this is often limited to yourself). You have things that require your immediate attention, and things you can allocate more planning and strategizing time to. Do it. The foundational formula for any “great thing” is to start – start the research, make the outline, create the business plan, write down your goals and dreams. Start There.
Be Bold. Be Courageous. Be You.
I would like to extend a special 'Thank you' to family, friends, classmates (present and former), and the rest of my village for donating towards my study abroad trip. Whether you donated money or encouraging word I am so grateful! I am because of God + YOU!
With Love,
Miss Ponder
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