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  • Writer's pictureA'Leeyah Ponder

Betrayal & Gossip are treacherous twins

Hello Family,

I’ve been dealing with heavy hitting betrayal lately.

The story goes like this… I’ll confide in someone I feel close to and share how I’m feeling about work, relationships, health, family or my mental health (which is still health). Soon after I confide in someone, I feel close to, I learn that they shared my “secrets” or “personal feelings” about a given situation to someone I wasn’t close to.

We live in a society where gossip is normal. We’re on social media sharing our ✨colorful comments✨ about other people’s choices, opinions and lifestyles. Often times, we’re so inundated with gossip through social media or familial cultural norms that we don’t questions people’s choices to gossip UNTIL we believe they’re gossiping about us.


Have you ever entertained gossip about someone you knew? Or even a stranger?

Did you ever think to yourself…

“How would I feel if someone was sharing their colorful comments about me and my decisions?” - More often than not our answer is NO.

In moments where other people’s lives are the topic of discussion, rarely do we put our foot down and kill the conversation before it gets out of hand.

Needless to say, I’ve carried these betrayals rooted in what I felt was gossip for months now. Betrayal can be both verbal and physical.

For example, you and a friend could be going for the same job opportunity. The hiring company could be working to hire 10 people, and you find out your “friend” spoke to the hiring manager about your lack of experience because they wanted to “limit the competition”. Soon, you receive an email that ‘regrets to inform you’ that you are no longer an eligible candidate for the job. MANY WOULD BE DEVASTATED & WOULD FEEL BETRAYED once they found out their “friend” sabotaged their opportunity to get a job they’ve wanted.

Betrayal can be a ‘dirty’ attempt to destroy one’s ability to succeed or progress. Most of all, Betrayal is hurtful when it’s done by those close to us (i.e. family, friends, coworkers, bosses, professors, etc).

People who identify with a religion, or spiritual practice, often seek out religious stories to try to see how their life experiences parallel to those in the faith-based text.

While wrestling with betrayal, I wondered how the bible addressed the topic. Jesus got betrayed by one of his disciples, or “close followers”, Judas.

Matthew 26:20-21 (NLT) reads, 20 When it was evening, Jesus sat down at the table with the Twelve (disciples). 21 While they were eating, he said, “I tell you the truth, one of you will betray me.”

Imagine sitting at dinner and knowing someone you love is going to betray you, but you carry on like all is well because you don’t want to ruin the dinner. I COULD NEVER! I’m sure I’m not the only one, but the point is we have an example.

What’s next? Well, Jesus continues to say wise words filled with hidden meanings and they enjoy dinner (Check out Matthew 26:22-30).

After dinner, Jesus decided to invite 3 of his disciples, or “closer friends” (Peter, James, and John), to pray with Him in a nearby garden. Jesus was STRESSED OUT… He would soon be betrayed, and the betrayal would lead to a painful death on a cross. Jesus was praying and sweating BLOOD.

Luke 22: 44-45 (NKJV) reads, ”44 And being in agony, He prayed more earnestly. Then His sweat became like great drops of blood falling down to the ground.45 When He rose up from prayer, and had come to His disciples, He found them sleeping from sorrow.“

I shared this because when we feel betrayed some people may feel like we’re overreacting when we decide to take a step back from them or the environment. Reading this story made it clear to me that stepping away, praying/meditating and regrouping after feeling betrayed is NORMAL and SUGGESTED.

It's tough healing in the same environment where you were hurt, and it’ll often slow down your healing process.

Here's a few recommendations for tackling the Treacherous Twins: Betrayal & Gossip-

Take a step back. Don’t force yourself to be in environments where people envy and are jealous of you if you have a choice. Don’t overlook snide, backbiting and resentful comments people make about you or towards your decisions.

SIDE NOTE: If someone is gossiping to you about someone else or betrays other people’s trust in their life often... Acknowledge and honor the pattern because you could be next.

I love you. Jesus loves you MOST.

Hang in there. Keep your head up, and if you can’t that’s okay too.

Xoxo Miss Ponder



Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Scripture taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

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Jan 28, 2023

This is a really good and WISE word. I love how you wrestle with real life but also allow the Holy Spirit to reveal truth to you while teaching you how to move forward. Know that even in and through your pain you are maturing and growing. Love you 💜

A'Leeyah Ponder
A'Leeyah Ponder
Jan 05
Replying to

Amen! All glory to God. Thank you Mama Bonton, I appreciate you and your kind words. I love you too!


Jan 28, 2023

This is a good word and what I can say is this…If they talked about Jesus, what makes you think they won’t talk about you? Please use the gift of spiritual discernment that you have been blessed with. And a word to the wise, when someone shows you who they are…PLEASE believe them!!! 🧡

A'Leeyah Ponder
A'Leeyah Ponder
Jan 05
Replying to

So true! Thanks for sharing!


Jan 28, 2023

Makes me wonder, The Most High could’ve used any type of short coming possible for us to live with the final result of Jesus being nailed to the cross. Why did he chose(allow, direct,orchestrate) the shortcoming of betrayal by a loved one.?

A'Leeyah Ponder
A'Leeyah Ponder
Jan 05
Replying to

That's a great point! I'm not sure. I do know, that reading the story brings me comfort in knowing that Jesus can empathize with us when we are betrayed. He knows how it feels, and models for us the best way to respond. Thanks for reading and for sharing your comment!

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