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  • Writer's pictureA'Leeyah Ponder

TFAS Step 2: Be Honest

Hello Family,

LIFE IS LIFEFING, however I'm learning that stopping to smell the roses can often look like leaning into your passions and things you enjoy when you feel like you're in a dark place.

Sometimes our light is the love we have for God, things, people and ourselves.

"What if" there is no light at the end of the tunnel, because the light was within you all along?

Now, we're going to hop into the message...

Anyone: How are you?
Me: I’m fine

Have you ever had this casual exchange after being greeted? Or…

Anyone: How are you?
Me: Blessed and highly favored!

Be honest with me for a moment… how often are you responding to this “common courtesy” question? And how often are you honest about how you’re feeling?

When I studied abroad in Prague, Czech Republic back in 2019 I remember taking all my “American customs” with me. Asking people, “how are you?” was a social norm for me. I asked a woman working in customs, “how are you” while she was looking over my passport. Before she gave me a response, She had a puzzled look on her face and appeared to be confused.

She responded with, “I’m …,” and waved her hand in a manner that said, “I’m alright but could be better.”

I’m sure that woman thought to herself, “why would someone that doesn’t know me want to know how I’m doing?” I’m sure it never occurred to her that this was an American social norm to “check-in” on people as a courtesy. Let’s “BeReal”, are we ever really “checking in” on people when we ask how they’re doing? Or are we just doing it because it’s “polite”?

I haven’t been honest. I wish I had the courage to be as honest with strangers, friends and family as she was.

Step 2 in becoming your TRUE FULL AUTHENTIC SELF is ‘Being Honest’.

There is something so rich and freeing about being transparent, asking for help, recognizing your weaknesses or even being vulnerable.

I was having a serious conversation with my therapist the other week and I smiled from ear to ear for most of it. I had to let my therapist know that I laugh to keep from crying… honestly I didn’t want her to think I had an “issue” processing and regulating my emotions because it’s strange to see someone “happily” describe mundane, painful and dark experiences.

She shared with me, that crying is good, healthy even. She affirmed me and encouraged me to express my emotions honestly.

Whether I am battling with anxious thoughts or depressive feelings or having a great day, I struggle to be honest.

Honesty calls for exposure, and exposure can be scary.

I told my therapist that being vulnerable and open is terrifying because being known deeply could mean that I’m laying down the groundwork for someone to use what they know about me against me.

*****Side note: If I put as much power in my faith as I do my fears I’d be nearly unstoppable 😂.. HONESTLY we all would be.

My therapist reminded me that my concerns were fears, and if someone used private knowledge of me against me that there would be power in knowing that they no longer deserve to be in my life. I never entertained the idea of a positive… “what if”

“WHAT IF” my honesty liberates those I care for to be more honest with me?

“WHAT IF” my honesty heals the broken parts of me that are terrified of trusting people?

“WHAT IF” failure makes room for future success?

“WHAT IF” living and loving fearlessly opens up doors for me to live a life that I’m proud to live and wake up to?

“WHAT IF” the key is honesty?

In a world full of lies, why not tell the truth? And if for no one else, tell the truth for you. Tell the truth because you owe it to yourself to show up as your True Full Authentic Self without fear of backlash, abandonment or punishment.

The key to unlocking your True Full Authentic Self requires you to take these steps:

Step 1 - Choose You
Step 2 - Be Honest
Step 3 - To be determined…
Remember, you're not on this journey alone.

I love you. Jesus loves you MOST.

Hang in there. Keep your head up, and if you can’t that’s okay too.

Xoxo Miss Ponder

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