Hello Family,
Just last week I felt like I was at my wits end… burnt out, depressed, feeling in distress and lost. Guess what a week did??? Nothing😂. I week later I still feel sadness and despair, but I’m working on being hopeful.
Over the past couple weeks, I’ve wrestled with missing spaces I prayed for freedom from.
I often say, “I miss T-TOWN (Tuscaloosa, AL)” or “I want to go home” or “I want to go back to Alabama.”
Let’s be very clear, as much as I enjoyed these spaces, they had their thorns too. I found myself praying that God would free me from living in Alabama and get me through my degree program where I could move back home. Once I graduated from college, I often wished I was working my dream job in a city outside of Georgia more times than I can count.
Isn’t it interesting how in moments of despair we are susceptible to wish we were back in the places we once felt despair, stress and sadness in all because it seems less stressful in hindsight? Choosing to go back to a perceived “lesser evil” doesn’t make your previous situation any less evil or horrible than the one you’re in.
I look at most of my past with rose colored glasses... and you could be experiencing that same thing too, so be mindful of that.
I’ve found myself getting back in contact with men I disconnected with intentionally.
I’ve found myself looking for professional opportunities in states I really don’t want to live in.
The reality is I am living just like many biblical Israelites.
In Exodus, the Israelites were enslaved for a long time (Exodus 1:9-14) and asked God to free them many times. Well, GOD DID! GOD ANSWERED, just as He answers us…
Exodus 3:7-10 NLT reads, “7 Then the Lord told him (Moses), “I have certainly seen the oppression of my people in Egypt. I have heard their cries of distress because of their harsh slave drivers. Yes, I am aware of their suffering. 8 So I have come down to rescue them from the power of the Egyptians and lead them out of Egypt into their own fertile and spacious land. It is a land flowing with milk and honey—the land where the Canaanites, Hittites, Amorites, Perizzites, Hivites, and Jebusites now live. 9 Look! The cry of the people of Israel has reached me, and I have seen how harshly the Egyptians abuse them. 10 Now go, for I am sending you to Pharaoh. You must lead my people Israel out of Egypt.”
God freed the Israelites with the promise of a “Promise Land overflowing with Milk and Honey”. Unfortunately, the Israelites were excited about the promise, but weren’t prepared for the preparation… or at least I don’t think they were.
Exodus 15:22-24 NLT reads, “22 Then Moses led the people of Israel away from the Red Sea, and they moved out into the desert of Shur. They traveled in this desert for three days without finding any water. 23 When they came to the oasis of Marah, the water was too bitter to drink. So they called the place Marah (which means “bitter”).
24 Then the people complained and turned against Moses. “What are we going to drink?” they demanded. 25 So Moses cried out to the Lord for help, and the Lord showed him a piece of wood. Moses threw it into the water, and this made the water good to drink.”
Sooooo, here’s a little recap:
The Israelites were ENSLAVED
The Israelites cried out to God and PRAYED FOR FREEDOM
God sent Moses to assist with freeing them and FREES THE ISRAELITES
Moses is in the wilderness on the way to THE PROMISE with the Israelites and they COMPLAIN because it isn’t an “easy, convenient nor simple” journey to the promise
Many of us want freedom from situations that aren’t serving our “best selves”, stressing us out, or simply uncomfortable. Rarely do we consider how an “uncomfortable situation” is preparing us for our next destination.
Hear me out…
Did it ever occur to you that the stress of your current situation could be developing endurance within you for the promise that God is preparing for you to have?
It didn’t occur to me until now... and even now I STILL HATE IT HERE (i.e. my discomfort, lonely and sad state of being).
Who says the answer to your prayer isn’t going to come with the same level, if not more discomfort than the thing you’re being freed from?I encourage you to read more about the Israelites journey. Exodus is a THICK book of the bible, but we can learn a lot from our foremothers and forefathers… we are just like them in a lot of ways.
As I wrestle with my discomfort, I hope you develop the courage to wrestle with your discomfort too. May we be courageous enough to face the things that make us feel uncomfortable with a heart full of prayer and a head filled with hope.
I love you. Jesus loves you MOST.
Hang in there. Keep your head up, and if you can’t that’s okay too.
Xoxo Miss Ponder
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CITATION:
Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.
Def wishing for something I use to have that I know was bad for me.. Just cuz I'm not used to being without it. Like an addict... The detox process is hard... This was spot on!